As it is a cycleI need help.As it is a cycle by catmeowing
I did it again,
I tore up skin.
When I dug in,
I couldn't feel the pain.
I couldn't feel the pain,
When I dug in.
I tore up skin,
I did it again.
I need help.
All I haveWhy I critique other people so much?All I have by catmeowing
Why I constantly wanted control in the games I played?
Why I would seem to ignore my problems?
Why I would cry and leave things that were not working?
Why I don't react to the pain aloud?
I wanted control.
Yes I am a "control freak";
Wow you say? That annoying "weeb" girl? Wrong word sweety, it is otaku.
How could you not guess it?
I never feel like I have control over anything.
I am not aloud to argue with my mother,
Nor with my father.
SorryI know I am a fuck up. Sorry for the language.Sorry by catmeowing
I am a failure.
I am a jerk.
I am annoying.
I am unworthy.
So sorry I failed the Latin final yesterday.
I am sorry in advance about the biology final tomorrow.
I don't deserve to feel bad.
I shouldn't be failing at this.
I have so many opportunities and
So many privileges.
I don't deserve this.
I am even more selfish for thinking I want to die.
I have it easy and I could never do it, I am a coward.
So sorry mommy.
I don't deserve to clean my face with my tears, so that
I could wipe away my pain and suffering.
So little do I deserve this.
I live the privileged life.
So I wish I could change things.
And one last thing-
Mother I don't want to be a scientist. I am not not interested in biology. I want to write and do art.
I know that I am bad at it, but please give me a chance. School doesn't.
SquabblesIt is probably my fault.Squabbles by catmeowing
I was being controlling.
"It is my dinner why are you eating it?"
I am probably to fat anyways,
and I made it sound like you should loose weight.
However I was only concerned that you would be full.
You were going to a potluck in less than an hour.
I could not due to a biology final.
I guess my feelings are invalid.
I mean there was only me trying to make it seem like you were overweight right?
You are not.
I mean I am not a victim, but you yelled at me.
I didn't get to explain and I barely had said anything.
You used things against me that I couldn't control.
The fact that you had bought me feminine supplies.
I am on my period, however it is my fault that I am not comfortable with tampons.
Not that you said that.
However you are my mother.
Whatever you say is basically the word of god.
As it should be.
So I am sorry.
I am too stubborn to say that to you.
So here it is.
I am sorry.
|I am a young person who likes to make art, I would love it if you checked it out. It is nice to know this place exists. I also write, let me know if you want to have me write or drawing something. I am not a terrible fanfiction writer. I also enjoy writing poetry.|